Toxic people are people that you would avoid if you knew that they were going to make your life miserable. They cause your life to be poisoned and they cause your relationships to be hard.
Family and other relationships can be hard sometimes because everyone has flaws and because no one is full of complete goodness.
In all relationships, there will be fights and disagreements. Things will happen and you will likely ask for forgiveness and move on. These are people that you will not hurt, and they won’t hurt you.
Why Are People Toxic?
Toxic people want to control you. They are not trying to keep you safe or to love you, but they are trying to make you give up all of your freedom and power.
They do things to you that will cause you to feel judged and will cause you to feel that your life is no good.
Toxic people learn their behavior even as young as being a child. They either experience toxic behavior or they are taught that it is the way to live. They often lack empathy and they probably have not kindness or compassion shown to them. They are impacted by people in their life, and they don’t have their needs met.
People that are strong often find themselves in toxic relationship and they have a hard time being confident or being the person that they were at the beginning.
People that aren’t toxic will often stay in a toxic relationship because they hope that the relationship gets better. They hope that they can make the relationship work.
Toxic Families
There are family members that can be toxic in your life. These can be the hardest relationships because there are people that you have to keep in your life. They show you who they are, but they don’t care that they are hurting you.
You will learn lessons about them, and you will learn what love isn’t. You will see that they don’t care about your needs and they show you lessons because they want to empower themselves through your pain. They walk around and they do show you things to make you feel guilty.
A toxic relationship will cause you pain, even when it is a learning lesson.
Love and Loyalty
Love is a way that people stay together. When you grow up in your family, you believe that they show you the right way. You trust them and you listen to the things that they tell you. There might be a time where they send you messages that are bad for you and you will listen to all the details just to believe in them.
When you believe everything they say, you no longer challenge them, and you realize that you can have a better life. When you are young, you let them have power over you and you realize that their messages might have been toxic.
As your environment changes, you grow and become an adult, but your thoughts and beliefs often stay the same. These are things that you have learned, and you often use them to help you survive. You stay connected and loyal, and you fight off your hurts.
You feel that you have to stay loyal to your family because they are family, and it is important to know that love and loyalty aren’t the same thing. You can love someone and not have to answer to them or to stay loyal to them.
Why Are Toxic Relationships Bad?
A healthy relationship is something that you give, and it comes back to you. You will know love and feel it. When you are in a toxic relationship, you will see that your partner will not help you. They don’t change for the good and when you are challenged, you often feel inadequate, and you are no longer secure. You feel that you are vulnerable, and you want there to be goodness but there isn’t.
Healthy families and healthy relationships learn to work through things and when there is a toxic relationship, that person wants to control things.
Toxic Relationships Don’t Change
People that are strong and independent can be tricked into thinking that they can manage things in their life or that they can change things and the relationship will be better.
Toxic people can change if they want to but most of the time they don’t want to. They are broken people, and they break hearts. There is no explanation of what they do or no remorse.
Why They are Hard to Leave
When you try to leave a toxic person, they get worse, and things get harder. There are feelings of control in the relationship and when they feel that they are losing control of you because you are breaking away, it can cause more pain.
Toxic behavior causes people to feel that they should behave a certain way and that you should accept it.
When things aren’t working for you, you have to realize that this can be a problem in the heart. When you are loving and giving and things aren’t good in your relationship, you have to give yourself more and move on.
Break away from toxic relationships and you will see that the more you do the more you will hurt. You will see that leaving hurts, but you will not stop getting hurt until you go.
Relationships that are hard and that are in your life will shape who you are. There is no room for growth, and they will not be flexible to you.
You have to find the space in your life that makes you strong and learn too not be vulnerable or weak. Toxic people will do whatever they can to take your space away from you.
When you love someone, but they are not loyal to you, you need to take a step back and look at your life. Do not let them manipulate you and do not let them make you feel bad.
Loving You
Toxic people will often tell you that they love you, but this doesn’t make things better. They will be insecure and jealous, and they will make you miserable.
Failed relationships hurt and being in a toxic relationship means that there is no growth and that there is no real love. When someone loves you, you feel it. This doesn’t mean that you can be self-serving, and it doesn’t mean that you have to put up with other people’s treatment.
Being loving and accepting means that you are strong, and you can take care of you.
What Matters
When you feel that you are growing and that you are able to walk away from people that are toxic, it will show you care for yourself. You can walk away from family, friends and lovers and your life will be better.
You will be able to set boundaries and you will be able to leave when it is not good for you. Boundaries are not to manipulate people but to show them that they have to treat you a certain way.
Be strong and do not let the relationship control you. Make people be loyal to you. If you are in a toxic relationship, give them a choice because you deserve that.
Toxic people will have problems in relationships, and they will expect you to be a certain way. They will criticize you and oppress you or they will manipulate and lie to you. They will do whatever they want to.
Those who love you will do what they can to make your life better. They will want you to be whole and loved. They will want you to be fixed and not broken.
When you are young and vulnerable and you have to depend on people to survive, you have to keep them in your life. When you get older, you can choose who you want to be around.
You do not have to obligate yourself to people that are toxic.
Growing
Learn to walk away and grow. Getting out of toxic relationships will prove that you are brave. You are okay and it is worth it. You need to get out of that mess.
Sometimes letting go will cause you to feel bad or guilty. You might even be angry or sad. This is because the toxic person had so much control on you. They may have mistreated you and hurt you.
You cannot let toxic behavior control you. You cannot look away from it and you have to learn to not be flexible or to let it control you. You can walk away.
You may see them again someday but until then, choose happiness and peace. Let them no longer control you. Let go of people you love because they are not there to make your life better but to hurt you when they are toxic. Let them go.
Sometimes there are not two sides to a story but just one. Toxic people will think that they are always right and you area always wrong. This is not true. This is something to kill you in your spirit so that you are not too strong.
If you want to talk away, do it. Do not let their toxic behavior control you or hurt you. You are braver than you know. You can learn this lesson and walk away. Let them live their life and you live yours.
Be who you can and learn to let your heart heal.
