Have you been dating someone that is uncaring towards you and they have gone out of their way to make you feel worthless? Do you find that you are always fighting, and you are always the one that has to apologize?
If you find yourself dreaming about leaving this relationship and starting a new life, do it. It is possible to leave them, even if you love them.
You don’t have to put up with abuse and you deserve to be in a relationship where you are treated better and someone that loves you.
A narcissist has a way of manipulating you and even if you want to break up with them, it is hard to do.
Inside, you know that the relationship is not healthy and that you need to leave.
Even if the narcissist has spent months or years making you feel that you aren’t good enough, you are and they will never appreciate you. You will find that they are always manipulating you and making you feel that they are honoring you even though you know this isn’t true.
Sometimes, we confuse an attachment to love. Even though you are attached to someone, this doesn’t mean that you are in love or they are in love with you.
When you are in a healthy relationship, you will spend time together and grow as friends. With a narcissist, you will never have this and they will make you fall deeply for them but they will continue to start fights and then make you apologize for starting it.
You will find yourself in a cycle and this will continue as long as you let it. They will always tell you they love you and this is what keeps holding you back.
You will interpret being lonely or afraid with love. You will feel that your heart cannot connect with someone else and you will fear being alone.
The truth is though, that when a narcissist shows you appreciation for what you do, they are not really sincere and you will just be fooled once again by your emotions.
When you understand that you can leave a narcissist, you will figure out that this was abuse. You will see that each of your dreams and ideas were dismissed by them and that they never really cared about what you felt.
The game that you played with them will show you that you were never able to achieve your own identity because you were always afraid of what they would say. You will realize that you never loved yourself enough to admit that they were holding you back and that you only cared about what their feelings were.
If you find yourself asking these questions, chances are you have lost your own sense of self:
- Do you always find yourself worried that the narcissist will be mad at you if you leave the house without letting them know where you are going?
- Are you always thinking what they will say if you make a decision?
Leaving for Good
You need to get over these feelings and you need to figure out how to leave for good.
Plan and Prepare
A narcissist will always make you feel that you cannot leave. They will stalk you and make you promises that are fake. They might even get violent and try to hurt you.
If you live with this person, you will need to get out and find a way to make it on your own. If you have children with them or you need to get a divorce, get a lawyer to help you.
The best thing you can do for you and your family is to move on.
Don’t Go Back
No matter what they say to you, don’t go back. If you have to, block their number and get a restraining order. Don’t let them talk to you.
Let your friends know that you are leaving them and that you don’t want messages from them. You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to.
No one has to know your business and if you choose to tell it, that is up to you. Your true friends will understand and support you.
When you are ready to leave, you will know that things will change. You will not be able to let yourself be pulled back into that relationship. Don’t listen to their apologies and move on.
You have to learn to accept that you are with a narcissist. Write down things he or she has said to you and how they have manipulated you over the years.
How did the fights all start and how did they end? Did they ever apologize or act like they understood why you were upset? Did you feel loved?
Did you get manipulated in all things in our life? Was the affection that they showed you real?
Look at your list and know that you are right to leave. The narcissist will probably try to reach you and contact you and tell you they changed.
You might wonder if they had and even think about how things could be if they did, but you have to move on.
If you want to understand your relationship, move on and think on it. Let your closure help you to rebuld your life and find new love.
Find something that you can do for yourself that you enjoy. Take your mind off of your old relationship and focus on what you didn’t get a chance to do when you were with them. Invest in yourself and let yourself grow.
Increase your spatial and mental body. Sign up for the gym or for college courses. Work on meeting your goals and having new dreams. Do things that you enjoy doing that you couldn’t do before. Know that you have it your all and don’t blame yourself for the failed relationship. Spend time reading and doing something you enjoy.
Find people that support you and talk to them. Have a healing session and discuss your situation. Know that you are going through a recovery session in your life and find support.
Give Yourself Time
It takes time to get over any relationship and this is one that is harder than most to get over. Spend time focusing on your feelings and your new happiness. Form goals that are long-term and that will better your life. Live in the now and forget the past. Don’t go back there.
It isn’t easy to leave someone that you love, even if they are abusive, but know there is a chance for a better life. One of the hardest things that you will ever do is to leave and know that you can move on and be happy.
Narcissists are people we love; they can be our family or our spouses. They can be our loved ones or our friends. They are ones that cause damage to others because they suck in everyone else’s life and they turn anything positive to a negative.
You can take these things you learned and use them for the good. Let the negative energies leave and take it as a life learning lesson. Build your emotions and start a new identity for yourself. Plan your life a healed person and allow yourself the chance to be happy.
Give yourself a chance to heal and to recover after you leave a narcissist relationship.