There can be a lot of anxiety and instability in a relationship. You may be finding yourself waiting for easier days, calmer moments, or emotionally growth. You might be constantly waiting from them to change, but they never do. One minute they are present and available, the next cancelling dates and distant. Then you are left to pick up the pieces. All these ups and downs, have your head spinning. You could be questioning yourself and your worth.
Take a step back and look objectively at your situation, rather than what you wish they could be. Allow yourself to prioritize the things you deserve rather than the crumbs you are getting. Let yourself sort out your thoughts and goals. We have helped create a few aspects for you to contemplate in order to get your relationship stabilized again.
- Set boundaries
How much are you willing to put up with? People deserve a second chance, but a fifth one is definitely pushing the limit. Don’t let them waste your good will and waste your time!
- Seek frank opinions
Having loved ones who are blunt can be difficult, but a real blessing. They can tell you important things you already know, but are unwilling to process. Think about how you need to hear when a person is taking advantage of you, and how that shapes you next steps. Having a person who can be frank with you, will help you get necessary perspective.
- Do you listen to your heart or your head?
How do you make informed decisions? Can you be objective with your perspective or do focus on what could be. The heart can mislead you, and the brain can make you overanalyze this situation. Weigh both the bad and the good objectively and try to trust your brain more to pick the option which is best for your overall well-being.
- Know what you want
Have an honest talk with yourself about what matters to you and what you are able to tolerate. At what point will you need to get off this emotional roller coaster? Create and honor standards you set for yourself and your life goals. You deserve to be loved, respected, treasured, and invested in. Never settle for anything less.
- Have honest discussions
After you have more clarity within yourself, talk with your partner. Make sure they are able to respect and honor your boundaries, and never let them take you for granted.
- Know your worth!
You deserve better than this instability. Don’t be okay with crumbs of attention or affection, when you could be with a person who could love you fully. You are worthy of someone who is loyal, committed, and enthusiastic about your future together.
- Know when to walk away
Ending a relationship is difficulty, but at some point, you will have enough. Feelings will still linger, and a part of you will feel like its dying. But you must do what is necessary for your health and happiness.
- Reinvent yourself
You are more than just an unstable partner. You can’t change a person that doesn’t want to change, but you can make yourself a better you! Set a new set of rules and give yourself space to explore your own passions and interests away from the relationship.
- Allow yourself to heal
It took you guys a while to get to this place of instability, and improvements won’t happen overnight. Have open conversations and discuss your boundaries with each other. Try to discover ways to be allies in helping each other heal as individual and become stronger as a couple, if that is what you both want. Remember, you are stronger than you know, and you both deserve to be both happy and fulfilled.
- Learn lessons
Now that you know what are healthy and unhealthy behaviors, you should create set appropriate boundaries. By learning, you are growing, and preventing future pain. You will become more committed to having people treat you fairly and respectfully. You will find that you deserve to have someone who can be there fully for you, and not just talk the talk. Let your heart find peace and ease so that you can cultivate the love you want and deserve.