Relationships can be problematic. The first moments you fall in love is thrilling and you never want that feeling to end. The one guarantee about relationships is they will change. They can change for the better or worse, depending on the dynamics of the relationship.
There could come a time when you began to think your boyfriend or husband doesn’t love you anymore. It could be they don’t want to take you out on a date very often or maybe they just don’t talk to you with the enthusiastic chatter they did when you first started dating.
People have different ways of loving others that could be misconstrued for changing feelings. These “love languages” include verbally stating you love them, serving them by doing things for them, being a gift-giver, physical touch and spending quality time with them.
However, the feeling your significant other doesn’t love you anymore goes beyond differing love languages. The lost love feeling typically occurs when your beloved changes in attitude or behavior. Maybe they become distant or even hostile. Perhaps they are spending more time at work or with friends rather than at home.
Accepting the possibility that your boyfriend or husband has stopped loving you hurts like no other hurt. It leaves a hole in your heart. However, recognition of a problem is an important step in either repairing the relationship or finding a way to move on to a new life. Living in the same status will only prolong uncertainty and increase your pain.
There are eight signs that indicate that your husband or boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore:
- You look for signs he doesn’t love you.
Your instinct is usually correct when it comes to your relationships. Deep down in your gut, you know when something is wrong. If you find yourself looking online or in magazines at articles how to recognize that he doesn’t love you – like this one – or how to find out what problems are in your relationship, then that is a sign that something is definitely wrong.
- You don’t trust him.
You feel like he could be cheating on you. Your senses just give you this weird vibe that you’ve never experienced before. The truth is he might be cheating. Some lose the loving feeling first and that leads to cheating, but there are those who fall into the cheating trap and that creates the distance with their wife or girlfriend.
You start checking his phone or insist on answering the home phone. You try to look at his emails or social history. At the same time, he becomes more secretive and doesn’t want to be open with you about where he goes, what he does or his communications.
- You feel unworthy when you are with him.
No one should feel unworthy or incomplete when they are with the person they love. Your husband or boyfriend should cherish and value you. You should be the most important person in their life.
If being around your beloved makes you feel depressed, unhappy or humiliated, then there is something really wrong in the relationship. The first thing to do is to review your own insecurities. Being honest with yourself about your fears and failures will help you heal and will ground you if the relationship doesn’t last.
Second, realize that a man doesn’t make you worthy. You are worthy simply because God created you worthy. He didn’t design anyone else like you and that makes you unique. Finding your worth in God and getting on track spiritually and emotionally will help both your current relationship and any future ones should this one end.
- He keeps you away from your family and friends.
This is a huge red flag for many reasons. First, isolating someone from their family and friends is a signature of an abuser. The abuser wants to isolate you so that you are completely focused and dependent on them. It also prevents anyone from interceding. That allows free reign for abuse.
This is not a characteristic of love. He may say it is. He may say he doesn’t want to share with you. That is a sign of a selfish man and you really should end the relationship and run fast if this is the case.
- He steals from you, degrades your body and dismisses your feelings.
Your husband or boyfriend may take money out of your purse without asking. Maybe their use your things, like your computer, without asking. They want sex, but its without feeling and is to satisfy their need instead of yours. They don’t seem to care how you feel about anything and brush you off when you try to tell them.
Love is kind. It is patient. Love doesn’t seek to satisfy its own. The things your boyfriend or husband is doing isn’t love at all.
- He doesn’t care about your dreams and doesn’t set goals with you.
A couple should love to work together to plot out their dreams and their life. It is a unified life after all. If he isn’t interested in setting common goals, or if his goals are vastly different from yours, it is a troubling sign. Likewise, if he doesn’t support you in your endeavors or ignores your efforts completely, it is a sure sign he isn’t in love with you anymore.
- He lies to you.
Your boyfriend tells you he is working, but you really think he is somewhere else. Maybe you even stop by his work and are told by a co-worker he left earlier. He lies about who he is talking with on the phone or maybe says he is meeting a friend for a guys night out, but you know the friend is out of town.
Lying kills relationships. It destroys trust, causes pain and ends with humiliation for both parties.
- He doesn’t respect you and doesn’t listen to you.
You will know this is true when you try to talk to him about your feelings and it ends in raised voices and slamming doors. He may berate you for your habits, hobbies or family.
Someone who loves you is going to respect you. He listens to you and cares about what you have to say. Your feelings, ambitions and dreams are important to him. If this isn’t happening, then your boyfriend or husband doesn’t love you.
So where do you go from here? That really depends on the situation. There are marriages and relationships that benefit and are saved through counseling. You need to decide if your relationship can be saved and is worth saving.
Don’t rush into that decision before you talk to your significant other. Talking is really the first thing to do to see if you should stay in the relationship or leave. You need to open up to your boyfriend or husband about your relationship and see what they have to say.
Regardless, it may be wise to get counseling for yourself. There are things you will need to work on for yourself to either help your relationship or start a new life without your partner. Know that, either way, you deserve love and will experience it again.
