I think I Am Hot But My Boyfriend Might Not

Self-esteem is always a tricky thing to control no matter who you are. Whether it is regarding your looks, abilities, or any aspect within your life, trying to keep a positive concept of yourself is a challenge. It can be doubly difficult when the lack of confidence you are feeling is because of a lack of noted appreciation or interest from your man.

If you are like many women, then there is a chance that while the image of yourself may be healthy, you are concerned that your partner is not as interested as he used to be. Perhaps you have been considerable time and effort in attempting to better your look and figure, but he just does not seem to notice. Trying to figure out why he seems uninterested can be a frustrating and embarrassing task, but keeping in mind a few key points may help.

Men Are Not Detail Oriented

Remember that small changes that you make to yourself may be completely overlooked by your man. It is not because he is not smart enough to notice. It is not because he does not care.

He simply does not pay attention to the smaller details that you do. Big changes like moving a table to another side of a room may catch his attention. However, moving a painting three feet from its original position may totally pass him by.

This same principle can be applied to your look and figure as well. Again, it is not because he is a bad guy or is too stupid to notice, he simply does not notice. On the plus side, he is much less likely to notice a change for the worse as well. One should not take advantage of that fact, but it is good to know anyway.

Men Have a Different Focus

Even men who are detail-oriented may not notice the efforts you make for an aesthetic alteration. Men tend not to notice assemble or color-based changes unless it is a blatant one that is thrown in their face. Furthermore, men often do not note the significance of certain things that are improved.

Just because your man does not consciously notice that you are looking hot does not mean that it is completely lost on him. Sometimes your man simply has his focus elsewhere and the changes or efforts you are putting him are “under the board” to him. Getting concerned or upset with him about that will not do you any good. When it is a forgivable oversight, do just that and forgive him for simply not being as focused on your improvement as you are.

Men Don’t Always Say What They Think

It is also wholly possible that your man both noticed and appreciates the changes you are making, but simply does not say anything. There are usually two reasons for this line of thinking from the man. The first reason is that he is simply not the kind of person that gives words of encouragement, at least not overtly.

It is quite common that men in particular upbringings are taught to not verbally acknowledge someone is positive or negative progress, and instead to simply let people do as they do without much talk about it. While this may seem like an alien concept to some of us, it is simply a style of moral upbringing and one simply has to accept that fact if that is how their man is.

The second reason he may not say anything about your improvements (or continuation on your general beauty) is that, to be blunt, women can be a bit bity and confusing when given a compliment. We all know a woman who, when complimented with “Wow, you look so thin now.” Will respond by saying “What? Are you saying I was fat before?” Remember that men are sometimes not the best at verbalizing what it is they are thinking. It is not out of the ordinary for a man to be afraid to say something nice as it embarrasses or scares him.

Something is on His Mind

Believe it or not, men have lives outside of what it is you look like. Sometimes work, friends, family, or a million other items in life are distracting him from really taking notice of your general good looks or physical improvement. Instead of worrying so much about why he is not taking proper notation of you, ask yourself why he might be elsewhere in his mind. It is important to keep in mind that most men tend not to talk about their problems at first.

Giving him a sympathetic ear to talk to can help him open up. Once they are able to open up more freely (because they feel comfortable enough to talk) then they are more likely to take notice of all you have to offer both as a partner and in the looks department.

Ask Your Man If He’s Noticed!

If it is really concerning you that your man is not noticing how good you look, or you are worried that his interest is waning, why not just ask him about it? Sitting around wondering why he is not as interested in you as you are is a little odd. If he is your boyfriend or partner and you feel it is something that needs to be talked about, then do so.

Just keep in mind that he may not understand why you are making a big deal about it. He most certainly is unlikely to come out and say he thinks you do not look as good as you think you do; but if he is feeling a lack of interest for some reason perhaps he will divulge the information just a bit.

If you are feeling like your man is not taking notice, keep in mind a few of these possibilities. You should feel good about keeping yourself looking beautiful. Remember, however, that just because he is not giving you the signs you need to know you are looking good does not mean he does’t think it.

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