You Can’t Change People, even if You Love Them

You Can’t Change People, even if You Love Them

You will always have people in your life that cause you to feel upset or bad.  It could be a friend that is an alcoholic or a partner that is depressed.  This can be anyone in your life and you want them to change.  They probably want to change but change is hard.  Can you make these changes happen?  No.  You can only talk about change and that is as far as it can go.

Being Responsible

You are not responsible for other people.  You are only responsible for what you do.  If you are a parent or own a business, you are responsible for those people, of course, but you are not responsible for what decisions other people make.

The way that you respond is important.  You have to choose your responses when you are a parent and make good decisions for your children.  But with other people, you cannot choose their actions.


You have to learn to be more selfish and to look after yourself.  Spend time with yourself and allow yourself to change.

Put things in perspective for your own life and learn to take care of you first and foremost.  Look after yourself and then look after others.


When you talk to someone and talk about change, you are putting the action into words.  It is then up to them to take these actions and change.  If someone is drinking a lot, talk about quitting, if they do, great, if they don’t, it’s up to them.

It is easy to plant these seeds and you can talk about change all you want.  Some people will want to change, and others will refuse to listen to you.  Just talk to them and try to plant the seed of change and show them the right way with your actions and words.


No matter how hard it is for you to see someone doing something, you cannot change them.  They have to make the change themselves.

You have to focus on what you can do and not feel that you are responsible for the behaviors of others.  This isn’t being selfish; this is being real.  This doesn’t mean you are leaving them, it means that you keep planting the seed of change and hoping that they will make a wise decision.

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