For many men, finding a way to get a woman to talk to him is utter torture. Many men do not know how to approach a woman, let alone how to obtain and then maintain their attention. It certainly is not always an easy task. It is doubly difficult if you do not drive a Ferrari or look like Brad Pitt.
Instead, what most of us have to work with are moderate incomes, four door midsized cars, and just above average looks. Well with the right teaching, anyone with those qualities can get a girl to not only focus on them, but also focus on them exclusively. What it takes is commitment to the craft and trust in the method. What it does (with enough practice) is allows almost any guy can grab almost any woman’s attention and maintain it long enough to get a phone number or even a date.
Do Not Force the Issue
One of the biggest mistakes you can make when trying to get a woman’s attention is to attempt and force the issue. The reason this is an awful concept is two-fold. First, the word force is already being used. When has the word force ever been a good sign?
Forcing means shoving yourself, often awkwardly, into a situation where the timing just is not right. Do not try to shout directly into a woman’s eardrum at a show or party. Do not yell to her while running across a busy street.
If she is engaged in a conversation with someone else, do not attempt to work your way in. Remember that patience is a virtue, and if you wait long enough you will find a proper opportunity to approach and speak with her. It may be best to remind all here that there is a thin line between waiting patiently, and looking like someone who is stalking. Be very careful when waiting your turn to speak with her and avoid just staring directly at her for minutes at a time. It creeps everyone out, including her.
Use Leading Questions
When you do get to speak with her, remember that leading questions are the easiest ways to avoid being shut down. What are leading questions, you might ask? A leading question is a question that cannot be answered with a monosyllabic phrase like “Yes” or “No”. Instead, leading questions get her to give a more detailed answer and often lead to more questions that are open-ended.
For example, you can ask “How much do you enjoy this type of music?” while admittedly not the most well crafted sentence in the world, hopefully you can see that the question lends itself to a longer answer than a “yes” or “no.” It instead gives the woman a chance to express her interest. This question also inevitably leads to “Who are your favorite artists in the genre?” or “What artists and genres do you like instead of this one.”
Maintain Eye Contact
One of the most underutilized attention-grabbing skills when it comes to men is maintaining eye contact. Eye contact tells someone that you are listening. It also tells them that you value what they have to say and are interested in their expression of opinion.
Women will inevitably feel a stronger connection with a man that maintains proper eye contact. It is however, important not to stare. Certainly do not stare aggressively. For some reason men who figure out the trick of eye contact think that they must engage in sort of staring competition. This is not how you should approach eye contact. Simply maintain eye contact for three-to-five seconds at a time while the woman is talking.
What She Wants to Talk About
While you may be excited to tell a woman everything about how special you are, it is important to hold back that impulse. If you want to keep her attention then you should talk about what she wants to talk about.
This does not mean that you should try to remain 100% mysterious. Instead, this concept is simply to keep the conversation in the direction of her interests and likes. If she is talking about a movie she enjoys and happens to mention a football game in the movie, do not suddenly switch the conversation to football. Remain on the topic she enjoys and allow her to feel like what she has to say interests you.
Since you already did the work to approach her and strike up a conversation with her, hopefully what she has to say DOES interest you. Again, in general this concept is to remember to not impose what you want on the conversation. By talking about what she wants to talk about you also get to learn about her. By learning about her, you can develop more leading questions that allow her to talk about what she wants to talk about more. With this positive cycle, you can keep her attention easily.
Being complimentary does not mean annoying her with constant remarks about her beauty. It is not out of line or a bad idea to note a beautiful woman’s face, figure, or other physical qualities. However, this should also not be the focus of your interest in complimenting her.
When she is speaking on an issue of interest, compliment her intelligence regarding the issue. If she is sharing an opinion, perhaps you can complement her on the grace and quality of her argument. Alternatively, perhaps you enjoy her passion and fire regarding issues she is involved with.
Regardless of the compliment, make it as sincere as possible and do so often. If you are not too overt with it, it can be a great way to boost her esteem. In addition, if her esteem is boosted, she will naturally enjoy speaking with you. I think it is safe to say anyone who feels validated by a person sincerely is more likely to talk with them.